Dating Articles: Show, Don't Tell

Here's a news flash: Most women are more interested in experiencing your redeeming qualities rather than hearing about them. Besides, a little mystery is always a plus when it comes to developing any worthwhile relationship. Trust me: You'll win major brownie points if you can find creative ways to show, not tell, her what you're thinking and feeling, and there is nothing more rewarding than an approving smile offered by the apple of your eye.

The following tips on things to show, not tell, will help you win the heart of a woman without showcasing yourself with distracting advertisements and colorful packaging that exhibit all of your bells and whistles.

Don't brag about your worth

Women do not want to hear how much money you make or the inheritance your great great great grandfather left you in his will. If anything, boasting about your salary or your material accumulation -- such as your house, yacht or a high-class luxury vehicle -- gives the impression that you may be lacking in other areas or overcompensating for the areas you feel insecure about. You can not buy a woman's heart with material things. You must win her affection by showing her how much you will be able to enhance her life through the art of surprise. Outrightly speaking about money also implies that she can not attain such things on her own, which is a dangerous assumption to make. Lastly, you never know who you may be talking to; just think of how you would feel if you found out she made more money than you.

Show her by: If you are truly interested in winning the heart of a woman, simply show her how much you would like to add to her life with some of the things you can afford to give. You can do this by sending her gifts out of the blue -- that is, gifts she may not be able to afford on her own or simply hasn't taken the time to get for herself. Take her on dream trips or places she has yet to visit. Show her that she can rely on you if need be by picking up the tab on meals or an occasional bill. Rather than talking about the house, the yacht and the car you own, take her for a spin around town; plan a romantic outing on the lake; better yet, invite her over for a glass of wine. While she is there, give her the grand tour of your big, beautiful home. The trick here is the element of surprise, which ultimately goes much further than being forewarned about your assets.

Don't tell her about your character traits

Discussing your character traits -- like your sense of humor, athleticism, political beliefs or work ethic -- may not get you the results you're hoping to attain. Your good qualities are definitely things to show, not tell. You may as well get a big white board, list all of your characteristics on it, tie it to a pole and walk around with it. When a potential car buyer goes to a lot, the salesman can run an entire list of features to his customer in an attempt to get the vehicle off the lot. However, the customer probably won't purchase the car until they've had an opportunity to get behind the wheel and experience the car for themselves. If they aren't interested to begin with, they won't bother getting in the car for a test drive. Believe me, it really wasn't the list of features that got them behind the wheel; it's what they saw.

Show her by: Show a woman just how funny you are. Let her see your political stance through discussion among friends, the political candidates you choose or even your community involvement. If you have a big heart under your hood, let her rev it a little. Show her you are healthy by inviting her to work out with you or dine at restaurants that serve healthy cuisine. She will see your best qualities in how you treat her as well as through your interactions with others. Your true essence is always revealed in time, so there is no need to tell her what she will eventually get to see -- unless, of course, all that you claim to be is inauthentic.

Don't tell her how desirable women find you

Bragging about your sexual capacity and how women seem to find you irresistible serves as a big lady repellent. One, it gives the impression that you are on the hunt, aiming to fulfill your calling as a woman pleaser. Two, it will appear as if you are under the impression that you are a commodity most women can't live with out. To you this may seem advantageous, but to a lady it shows that you are selfish and have very little concern for her feelings. There are very few women who want to compete for a man's attention, so it would be silly of you to put her in that kind of position without her consent.
And lastly, when referring to your exes and how alluring they may have thought you were, keep in mind that you are no longer with them. Therefore, it would definitely behoove you to refrain from discussing details about relationships that have failed, as it may cause a woman to think twice about what you claim to be. Remember: show, don't tell.

Show her by: Instead of prattling on about your exes as a means of proving that other women find you desirable, allow a woman to see with her own eyes just how tempting you are and show, don't tell. Women catch on pretty quickly when it comes to seeing how much women stare and flirt while the two of you are on an outing. Seeing how you interact with these women in her presence can also win you points, especially if you introduce her each time you are approached by an ex or an eyeing female. Hopefully, you should know to be respectful enough to mingle with them in a non-flirtatious, platonic fashion, especially while in front of her. The ultimate goal is to show her whether or not you are able to compose yourself in a dignified manner, not how many females you beat off with a stick. Trust me, they are always watching.

Don't tell her how much of a family guy you are

If you are looking to settle down and you want a woman to get a sense that you are interested in building a family, it is not necessary to tell her you are a "typical family guy." To be truthful, this is not a trait that a woman could be attracted to through the act of self-proclamation. This type of profession would sound a lot like a childish attempt to gain the affection of a woman. This is something she must learn for herself.

Show her by: If you are serious about letting her see how much of a family guy you are, start by giving her a natural glimpse into your interactions with your family. You may also try getting her involved with some of the traditional events that your family hosts. If you are a divorced parent, introduce her to your children (when the time is right, of course) and let her see how they respond to you in a relaxed environment. It wouldn't be such a bad idea for her to somehow witness the sacrifices and the responsibilities you partake in on a daily, weekly or monthly basis. She can then make her own assessment as to whether or not you can be the head of the household you claim to be.

showing off

Most guys have a tendency to oversell themselves like high-priced merchandise when dating or trying to win the attention of a woman. Men need to start relying on their own abilities to attract through their actions rather than their words -- which 9 times out of 10 sounds a lot like hot air. Impressing a woman with all the characteristics you think make you an asset to a relationship may have you sounding like nothing more than a conceited salesman attempting to sell a superfluous insurance policy. Show, don't tell. It will definitely pay off.

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